we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm passing your future prison.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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