So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this beer tastes like vomit already
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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