I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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