He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize