That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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