My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize