I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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