hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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