I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
