it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
