Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
