Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
