We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
