just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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