so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.