Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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