oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
