I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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