So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
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I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
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Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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