The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
