take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Naked. naked and bneed help.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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