Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
