woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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