my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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