You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
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I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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