It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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