don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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