I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
