How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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