i don't like sucking hair
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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