her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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