hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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