it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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