Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize