people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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