i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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