you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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