All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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