I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You are the jesus of drinking
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
