It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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