I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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