Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
God, I missed his penis.
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