I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
