the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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