I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize