this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
