Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
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