How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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