Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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