do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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